I was really, really hoping to get out this Saturday to do some Christmas shopping in the next town over because a) I want to finish our Christmas shopping as soon as possible, and b) I really need a break, even if it's just to do some shopping. There is absolutely nothing "fun" to do here and it's really getting to me. Hell I can't even walk to WalMart to get out of the house anymore cause some moron let a flare off!! The entire store is covered with orange powder now it's probably closed till the New Year. So my choices now are the dollar store, Shoppers Drug Mart, Sobeys or Atlantic Superstore. Hmm.. what wild & fun adventure do I want to have first? These are my only shopping choices, not really going to score any great Christmas gifts at these places now am I?
I'm crazy lonely. And i'm painfully bored. I miss my baby so much, (Dallas) and my sister, and my mom, and my bestie, her adorable kids, and my in laws. Something fierce. I miss being able to get out for a day with my kids and enjoy new experiences or hang out with friends. A special trip to the Grand Theatre to see a live play, a concert, a day at the museum, a trip to the bookstore, visiting my grandma in law, an afternoon at the park, wandering around thrift shops looking for treasures, or even just a day at the mall hanging out and taking the kids out for lunch.
I feel like the walls are closing in on me...
I'm still sick which doesn't help things at all. I've been able to keep up with my sewing and most of my daily 'to do' lists get accomplished but I am absolutely 1000% exhausted. I haven't slept more than 4 hours a night in I don't know how long to be honest. I really don't remember the last night it was that I was able to get a full nights sleep and it's definitely taking a toll on me.
I have next to no voice, so trying to talk to anyone is pretty much impossible. I now have this stupid cough and I feel like I'm gasping for breath all the time.
Then tonight Mya tells me she thinks she's getting sick. Again. Last weekend we hung out at the ER with a jerk of a Dr, and now she's sick on time for another weekend round. I really shouldn't be surprised. Of course she's getting sick, why wouldn't she be when all the kids at school are always sick!? She has a PD day tomorrow which is a good thing because she can (hopefully) sleep in & take it easy tomorrow.
Naturally, all this means no Christmas shopping for me this weekend, I'm stuck in the house all week and weekend, again. Being so isolated isn't helping my feeling of the walls coming down around me unfortunately.
I don't know what to do or how to make things better... but things clearly are not getting better for me.
Sorry for this post... but it helps me to "get it out". Hopefully tomorrow I'll be in a 'chipper' mood. Or I'll be able to pretend a bit better at least...
On that note I need sleep... desperately.